Abygail

I'm torn. Not physically, but definitely mentally. My heart urges me to go to a big city once I get done at the school at now, but my head tells me I need to stay close to home. I love my hometown. All the memories, friendships, and family make it pretty great, but I don't want to live in a small town forever. I always knew I wanted to go to a bigger city, but all the sudden, I'm torn. If I stay here, I can go to school and live at home for basically free. I could keep the same, stable job I've been working and could continue on with life. Once I finish all my training, I could start my new job. I could move out and live on my own independently. If I leave, I would be independent right now. I could do anything and everything I want. It would finally be MY life. I would probably struggle financial quite a bit. I would have to pay way more for school and pay for my own place while still paying off my car. Plus, I have a habit of spending money when I'm sad. I alwa

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When I was younger and I was upset or stressed, my parents would make me take a shower. No explanation, just "Go take a shower Aby." And with that, I would head to the bathroom and take a shower. It was magical. I would step out and everything was different. There was nothing that could make me upset, nothing to stress about. The shower washed away everything. I wish it was that easy now. Anytime I get into the shower now, all I can think about is how high the water bill is going to be if I stay in there for a long period of time. The stress and worry and emotions don't wash down the drain anymore. They stick to me. They make my head pound. When did I become an adult? I'll be nineteen this year. My life is just starting and I'm already so stressed. When I was in elementary school, a kid was super excited because it was his "special" birthday. Special as in he was turning ten and his birthday was on the tenth of whatever month we were in. It's my &q