Not Again

I wrote this when I was hurt... and when I had lost, yet another, friend.

What I know is this: I know close to nothing. For everything I thought I knew, was a lie.

I thought we would be friends forever. I thought that we could always work through anything and everything. I thought that opening myself up this time would be different. That everything would be different.

But it wasn’t.

Nothing was different and that’s what makes everything so difficult.

I thought I was different. I thought that I had changed, but I was wrong. Once again, I fell under the wing of someone who changed me and used me to their needs and then ambushed me. They have made me feel like I am nothing like I am not worthy of life itself. That I could not possibly go further without such pain, such anger.

Oh, how I am rageful. Oh, how I am hurt.

I am determined not to let it bother me in such ways as last time. I know now that I shall not crawl back and beg for their friendship for they are not worthy.

I can’t do it again. Not Again.